chapter 12

Part 1: Here goes… Saturday afternoon I was sitting by this frozen lake in southern Vermont. It was snowing, quiet, and very pretty. Suddenly, I heard this singing coming from the woods across the lake. The singing was beautiful but very sad. I called to the person and asked them to come to my side of the lake. They walked across the ice toward me. Turns out it was you. I said, Aren’t you supposed to be at a lake somewhere? And you said, This is a lake somewhere. I asked why you sounded so sad and you said you were eating an orange when this bear came out of the woods and stole it from you. I said, Don’t worry, I’ll find you another one. So I started looking. But all around us there were only birch trees and they only had apples on their branches. I asked you if you wanted an apple instead because apples and oranges were roughly the same thing. But you said, Don’t be silly. So I kept looking. Eventually I saw one up in the sky. I climbed up this tall tree to reach it. I climbed and climbed till I passed the hawk and the clouds, till I could no longer see you below. When I finally got to the orange, it was very hot and it burned my finger and it really hurt. When I brought it down to you, you said, Let me kiss your finger. Then you did and it didn’t hurt anymore.

We went to the middle of the lake to eat the orange. You were laughing and throwing the peel at me. I said, Be careful. But it was too late. The orange peel fell on the ice. And since it was still very hot, it melted the ice and we both fell in the water. I said, I told you so. But because we were underwater, I couldn’t say anything and could only blow out bubbles. You looked at me as if to ask, Were you eating soap earlier? And I wanted to say, I’m not sure. Oh no, you seemed to say. I told you silently, Don’t worry, soap only kills bacteria. You looked at me and said soundlessly, That’s good. I want you to live because I want you to explore this lake with me. And I replied without words, Okay.

Part 2: We were wandering on the bottom of the lake when we saw a school of little fish. They were darting in and out of the water weeds like bees. You said, Did you know bees never get lost? I said, Then I want to be one. You said, Don’t sting anyone because you’d die. I wanted to follow the fish to their home so we swam after them. On the way, we saw snakes that looked like leather belts, eels that looked like neckties, crabs that looked like brooches, and turtles that pretended to be old straw hats. I said, Maybe we’re really just walking in somebody’s closet. Then let’s find some socks because my toes are numb, you whispered. But it must have been their laundry day since we couldn’t find anything that looked like socks. So I blew on my hands and rubbed your feet with them.

The fish eventually led us to a castle with a tall tower at the center of it. I wanted to see what was inside the tower but you were worried that it might be a trap and I would be held captive and fed nothing but lollipops for days. I said, Don’t be silly. So I scaled the walls and climbed up the tower. I was crawling through the window when an alligator appeared with a bubble gum flavored lollipop and said, Gotcha. I leaned out of the window and shouted to you, It’s a trap. There were bubbles rising from below and they formed the words “I told you so”.

That night you came flying like a phoenix out of fire flames. You were very beautiful. There was a flare gun in your hand. You pointed it at the tower and everything was lit up in rainbow. The rainbow reached the tower and I climbed out of the window onto it. Afterwards, I said, I think it may have been your hair that I was walking on. And you said, I know. Then I said, I didn’t want to be a princess in a tower. And you said, That’s good because I didn’t want to slay any dragons either. We started walking, leaving the castle and the alligator behind. After a while, I said, Let’s get into some more trouble. You looked at me and said, Okay.

Part 3: It is often believed that there is a secret world that exists right here underwater, in full view of all living things, and yet unnoticed and untold. This world is confined to two dimensions, ordinarily enough: space and time. It begins and ends at the two ends of the lake. And it only lasts one full day before starting over.

At the two ends of the lake are two unnamed creatures. And since neither wants to cross the length of the lake for some reason, they only communicate with each other through messages. The messages are ferried back and forth by water beetles who deftly carry them in tiny air bubbles under their belly. Water beetles are a natural courier because they are fast and agile. They easily thread through thick weeds and their senses for navigation are unrivaled. Though unbeknown to the two creatures, water beetles are poor messengers. They are easily distracted by the smallest slivers of light. Each morning when the sun shatters into the surface of the lake, its golden pieces pass through water like rings. Few water beetles have ever been able to resist them. So instead of carrying the messages across the lake, they foolishly chase after the rings. And since there are millions and millions of rings, the water beetles soon become exhausted and drown. The few who make it across often find themselves having used up the air bubbles to stay alive and swallowed the messages in the process. They sincerely recite what they remember to the recipient but the memory of a water beetle is, however, imperfect. Consequently, most of the messages bear little resemblance to the original words.

Thus every day the two creatures wait to hear from each other. As their true thoughts almost never arrive, and as their world starts over each day, they spend eternity in hesitation, in wanting to cross.

But this secret world has more dimensions that one can perceive. It is also thought that within one of those dimensions, no water beetles are ever needed, no messages are squandered or forgotten, and that the two ends of the lake somehow get closer on their own each passing day.

Part 4 (or how it would have ended): …On the surface of the lake, a fox was sleeping on the ice. It woke up to the conversation coming from the depth below: I think I want to be an octopus. Why? Because I’d have eight arms and they’ll never let you go. Did you know octopuses have three hearts? Yes? Then you should only become one if you can give me all of them. Okay.

Epilogue: It’s unfortunate that such a beautiful ship was once a whaler. If it’s any consolation, there weren’t as many whaling ships during the 19th century as commonly thought. Frigates frequently disguised themselves as whalers to lure pirate ships into the range of their cannons. As pirates became wary of anything that resembled a whaler, soon merchant vessels also began to make themselves look like whale hunting parties. This inevitably led to an inflated count of whaling ships. And of course, pirates learned very quickly that each ship’s true intentions were often a bit of a mystery. And that the sea, just like dry land, was indeed a very confusing place.

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This chapter borrows elements from Richard Siken’s I Had A Dream About You, PJ Harvey’s The Dancer, Bill Callahan’s Universal Applicant & Rock Bottom Riser, and an experience I had during the time of this writing. For no one.

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March 28-April 28, 2022