chapter 11

(though not nearly as fun as the legal one)

the adventure of mr. Kitty

1. Once upon a time

Once upon a time… in a dumpster, where Mr. Kitty was found. Who found him was this family of raccoons looking for dinner one night.

The raccoon family spotted the little helpless creature among the garbage, took pity, and decided to adopt him. They brought Mr. Kitty home where mom and dad raccoons raised him as one of their own. Time flew quickly, as it sometimes does. And soon, Mr. Kitty was running with his raccoon siblings, flipping trash cans, slowly crossing the roads at night, and occasionally staring at unsuspecting humans as if to say, “the f— is your problem?” That’s how Mr. Kitty grew up: happily and unremarkably. The truth is that nothing ever crossed his unworried mind.


2. Doubt

One night Mr. Kitty found himself by a puddle. The moon was high and bright and he saw his reflection in the shallow water. How his body was slender. How his legs were long and thin. And how there were no black spots around his beautiful golden-brown eyes. “Not a trash panda”, the moon whispered.

Startled by the thought, Mr. Kitty raced home to his family. He found his mom. “Am I not a raccoon?”, he tugged urgently at his mom’s tail. “Of course, you are, my baby”. “Then why do I look so different from everyone?” “We’re all different”, his dad mused, adding that he loved most of his children equally. Mr. Kitty turned to his siblings who were probing a half-eaten sandwich wrapped in grease-stained paper. They, however, looked decidedly more interested in its contents than his inedible identity crisis. “Yes, yes”, one of his sisters finally paused long enough to acknowledge their father. She pointed her paw at their youngest raccoon brother, “I mean, look at Tommy, he’s eating lettuce. Who eats lettuce?! What a weirdo!” In response, Tommy offered his sister a hiss and Mr. Kitty a wink.

Seeing that he wasn’t getting anywhere with his family, Mr. Kitty wandered back out into the night. He climbed up an oak tree by the side of the road and thought hard about who he might be. The trouble was that Mr. Kitty wasn’t used to thinking so he didn’t know where to begin. After a while, he decided that he should start with the few occasions he had noticed something different about himself.

First, there was that day when he spotted a squirrel for the first time and couldn’t understand why no one wanted to chase it up the tree like they all should. In fact, his mom even told him to leave their acorn-eating neighbor alone, which made him very sad indeed. And now he wondered if Tommy also liked acorns like he did lettuce. But thinking about acorns and lettuce proved to be a dead end so Mr. Kitty moved on.

There was this other time when the family went to the local pond. Touching the water with one foot, Mr. Kitty was immediately appalled, which made it utterly unreasonable that his siblings should have such a merry time washing and splashing about. They even went after the fish, which was silly since the fish were too small and far too fast to be worth any trouble. Mr. Kitty began to wonder how fish could bear to be wet all the time. That must be a terrible feeling, he shuddered. But thinking about fish was also a dead end, Mr. Kitty eventually noted.

Of course, there was the game that he and his siblings played every now and then: the beggar and the thief. Everyone got to play the thief at one point or another except Mr. Kitty, who somehow always ended up being the beggar. Born for this role, someone even said of him. “This is a promising lead”, Mr. Kitty thought, promptly feeling quite pleased with himself. But a beggar wasn’t something anyone aspired to be. Also, being a beggar meant getting chased by one of the neighborhood dogs of whom Mr. Kitty was perpetually terrified. And since his siblings didn’t seem to think much of the dogs, they always made fun of him for being such a scaredy cat…

This new thought flashed like an overheating lightbulb.

Dogs were terrific with their noses. So maybe he smelled different from everyone else? Could this be because he wouldn’t wash at the pond? He imagined being a fish again, which of course was still terrible and useless. Mr. Kitty was now thoroughly depressed – he had been going in circles. On top of this, he didn’t care for being called a scaredy cat at all.

At this very moment, Mr. Kitty spotted two humans walking up the road toward him. Safely up on a tall branch, he simply stared at them. As they got closer, the littler of the two stopped, pointed its paw at Mr. Kitty and said to the other, “Uncle, is that the Cheshire cat?” Mr. Kitty instantly perked up, “Cheshire cat, is that who I am?”. The bigger one looked at him then back at the little one, “Now Alice, remember what we talked about Santa Claus? Same thing with the Cheshire cat. They’re not real…” “Am I not even real?”, dark clouds swiftly appeared on Mr. Kitty’s horizon. “While we’re at it, let me tell you something about free lunches”, the bigger one continued. And with those cruel words, Mr. Kitty felt a bit of himself collapse. The humans resumed walking, but not before the bigger one shot a final look at Mr. Kitty, “By the way, that thing isn’t even grinning. That’s the biggest frown I’ve ever seen”. “Maybe it’s just upside down”, the little one protested meekly. And upside down it was, Mr. Kitty’s entire world.


3. Owl

Mr. Kitty remained in the tree long after the humans had left. The moon was beautiful, splashing and sparkling on the midnight oak leaves. This was the same moon that told him the terrible secret earlier. But how it was silent now.

Suddenly from above came a mysterious voice, “If you want answers, you must go look for them. Answers don’t come to those who remain idle”. Mr. Kitty looked up where the voice was coming from. Through the thick oak, he discovered a magnificent owl, the wisest creature there was. The owl, perching on an upper branch, continued, “Venture forth into the woods. That’s the only way”. Mr. Kitty could scarcely believe his luck. In this moment of darkness, the universe decided to extend its helping paw and Mr. Kitty knew he must take it. But where in the woods exactly? Should he go now? And how will the answers present themselves? There were things he wanted to ask the owl. But even without looking at Mr. Kitty, the owl already knew. “They will be there. Just keep your eyes open”, it said reassuringly. “Then that’s what I’ll do”, Mr. Kitty exclaimed, slipped down the tree, and raced towards the deep dark woods ahead.

Had Mr. Kitty turned around just for a moment before he hastily ran off, he would have noticed a second owl on the next branch. Owl no. 2: “So you’re not gonna tell me where the mice are? Come on, I’m starving”. Owl no. 1: “Stop being so lazy. Go look for them yourself. Now leave me alone. I’m going to find Suzie. And please Lord, let me get to second base this time.” And with that, owl no. 1 flew off in the direction of the baseball field nearby.


4. The woods

Mr. Kitty reached the woods in no time. Before entering, Mr. Kitty looked back towards his home. Something told him he would not be the same when he came back out. But that did not worry him. In fact, the woods seemed utterly mundane tonight; snakes stirring in the trees, worms lying in wait, birds tunneling below. He began walking. And he did so for three days and three nights. During the day, the trees which were getting thicker and thicker would part to reveal his path. At night, lightning bugs would show him the way. He bravely crossed many streams, each deeper and colder than the last. Silence gradually took hold as the various sounds of the woods would vanish one by one. Remembering the owl’s advice, Mr. Kitty paid attention to all that was surrounding him. He even asked several strange animals he encountered but they all seemed to think he had lost his mind. So Mr. Kitty kept going. On the morning of the fourth day, the woods came to an abrupt end. A great body of water appeared before him, calm and endless. “This must be the end of the world”, he thought. It dawned on him that he had crossed the entire woods without finding the answer he was looking for. The realization brought overwhelming exhaustion and Mr. Kitty promptly fell into a deep sleep.

A vivid dream came to him. In the dream, he walked through the woods again. Only this time his path was lined with giant elephant ears. They were so large and tall that he could climb and easily stand up on one of their leaves. Each had a different color: one was purple, one blue, one red, one yellow, one teal… Even in the thick shadows of the dark woods, the colors were brilliant. The plants craned this way and that like sunflowers to their personal sunbeam. When Mr. Kitty looked up, he could see through the layers of trees not one but two suns, two golden marbles gleaming from high above. Mr. Kitty was thoroughly confused. He hadn’t clue where he was or what he should do. Every time he tried to get past the elephant ears he would find himself back where he started. Suddenly, it began to rain. Each raindrop was as large as a boulder. The glistening boulders hurled down from a great height, smashed into the elephant ears and shattered into millions of crystals. The crystals scattered around Mr. Kitty, each a dazzling mirror reflecting his own image. Thousands of Mr. Kitty looking back at him, astounded and bemused.

Out of the blue, a shadow flitted across the ground. Mr. Kitty looked up to find the same wise owl from a few days earlier. It dashed among the trees twice before landing on a branch above him. The owl was again magnificent, a shining lighthouse across the vast ocean of Mr. Kitty’s confusion.


5. Rabbit hole

Mr. Kitty was filled with hope once more. The universe, in its infinite wisdom, was about the guide him to the right path again. But just as the owl started to speak, the earth where Mr. Kitty was standing suddenly opened up and swallowed him in one gulp. Mr. Kitty felt himself not so much falling in as being pulled in. The sky, with its solar twins above and the lone owl surely somewhere below, quickly retreated into the shape of a round opening. “I’m in a rabbit hole”, Mr. Kitty calmly noted on his way downward. “Oh no, this must be some Alice in Wonderland nonsense then”, he muttered in disdain.

But he was wrong of course.

Mr. Kitty soon knew it, too. As he was falling, he spotted no rabbits. Instead, he caught glimpses of what was rather pleasing and instantly familiar: himself. There were mirrors suspended around him. As he fell past them, he could see that every mirror, strangely enough, showed something different. In one, Mr. Kitty was back by that puddle from three days earlier but the water was frozen and Mr. Kitty’s coat was as white as snow. In another, he saw his mother gently licking his bloody ear after that unfortunate encounter with a red fox. But his mother looked so young then. Her movement was still nimble, her dark fur still shiny, her eyes two twinkling stars. A mixture of warmth and sadness rose in his chest. Further down, Mr. Kitty saw something he did not recognize: after having spent a considerable amount of effort sneaking through a kitchen window, Mr. Kitty finally approached an inviting fishbowl. What’s peculiar was that the fishbowl was getting closer all the time but never close enough for him to touch. It must have been one of those time loops, which was very unfortunate since after having spent a considerable amount of effort sneaking through a kitchen window… In the next mirror, Mr. Kitty, however, did remember his baby brother Tommy running to him and his siblings, looking ecstatic. That was the day Tommy cryptically declared that he had found a way to stop the neighborhood bullies. These were the local tough kids who would pick on the smaller ones like Tommy and his friends. Mr. Kitty felt sorry for Tommy and tried to defend his brother once. But the ensuing beatdown ensured that both he and Tommy would stay out of their way even if that meant giving up a promising trash can. It was just part of growing up, he uneasily concluded. Distracted by the thought, Mr. Kitty failed to notice another mirror showing Tommy sobbing alone after one of the encounters with the bullies. Out of the blue, the helpless Tommy unexpectedly heard a voice spoken to from above. Whatever the voice told Tommy made him cry out in jubilation and he ran home to his siblings.

It was indeed the two owls again. Owl no. 1: “Say the lines slowly this time, and with conviction please”. Owl no. 2: “Let us give strength and courage to those who endure tyranny and injustice. Let us empower sisters and brothers so they may triumph over the forces of evil. Let us…”. A sudden yelp from below startled the two owls. Believing they were spotted, the owls interrupted their play rehearsal and flew off in the direction of a barn nearby.


6. Spider

Just like everything else, the trip was finally coming to an end. At first, Mr. Kitty noticed a faint star that grew brighter with his approach. “That must be the light at the end of the tunnel”, he soon realized. It then occurred to him that he might not be coming back out to the same magical woods from earlier. “Let’s just hope it’s not Jersey”, Mr. Kitty mumbled as he plunged toward the exit. Next, everything changed. The underground murkiness gave way to blinding light. Mr. Kitty was no longer falling – something soft had caught him. No more mirrors, Mr. Kitty noted once his eyes had enough time to adjust. He had been ejected from the tunnel and was now suspended midair. Up high, the sky was a spotless sphere save for the sun which was glowing in sugar pink. The air was still and not a sound was heard. In the distance, images of different forms and colors flickered like mirages. For a few moments, he caught glimpses of an island dotted with lush green trees but the green quickly turned into a dark red. The whole island, in turn, gave way to a familiar dancing shadow which multiplied then flattened back into one. Before Mr. Kitty could make out what the shadow was, it melted away and hundreds of gold rings began to rain down. It was all too baffling. In hope of finding something that made some sense, Mr. Kitty turned to look down but couldn’t. His back was stuck to what appeared to be an enormous spiderweb. And sure enough, he soon spotted a giant spider to his left. The spider sported a velvety coat of yellow and black stripes. Its many eyes seemed to look at everything and at once nothing at all. What a monstrous creature, Mr. Kitty shuddered. The spider sat motionless, giving absolutely no sign that it had noticed Mr. Kitty. It’s probably having a nap, Mr. Kitty decided. He mentally calculated the distance separating him from the spider and immediately became nervous. Spiders weren’t something new, or scary, to him. At home, he would send spiders scampering just by pawing at them. This one, however, was big enough to spin him into a cocoon and hang him up in the air like a common moth. It would have been absurd just a few moments ago to imagine being so defenseless in front of a spider but that’s exactly the state he was now in. Mr. Kitty knew he must escape. Silently, he attempted to free himself. Yet, no matter how hard he tried to pull away from the web, it remained stuck to him. Mr. Kitty lay on his back, his pitifully thin limbs waving about helplessly*.

Mr. Kitty’s strength eventually drained from him and he stopped struggling. Maybe I can talk my way out of this, Mr. Kitty concluded after a while. And before he knew it, he was considering all sorts of arguments that would convince the spider to let him go once it finally woke up. He imagined himself appealing to the spider’s compassion by telling it about his loving family who was surely waiting for him at home. He could also impress it by demonstrating the kind of courage and fearlessness he suspected he didn’t really have. He may even explain to the spider the noble quest for his true identity – the importance of which would no doubt win it over. In every scenario, the spider was so overcome with tenderness that it tearfully set him free from the web, assured him everything would be okay, then promptly spun him into a cocoon and hung him up like a common moth.

The dreaded moment inevitably arrived. The spider woke. It stretched its horrifyingly furry legs for few moments then started moving along the silky threads toward Mr. Kitty. It moved slowly and with so much grace that not even a stir was felt on the intricate web. Its two murderous fangs opened and closed calculatedly. The spider’s many eyes were fixed on Mr. Kitty now. The looming black beads were shiny, reflecting Mr. Kitty’s fragmented image. In one eye there was his tail, in another eye his head, yet in another his belly… None saw him as the complete creature he believed himself to be. Or maybe that was just the butcher’s view of how the spider’s nightmarish dinners should be divided. Mr. Kitty was gripped with fear. Not a single word he had previously rehearsed found its way out as if he was no longer in possession of his mouth. He simply stared at the approaching monster, muted and paralyzed.

“Hello Kitty”, the spider finally said, breaking the eerie silence.

* See Kafka’s Metamorphosis

 

7. the fall

At that very moment something told Mr. Kitty he would not die at the paws of the spider. Little did he know he would die a thousand times over at his own.

For now, however, Mr. Kitty felt safe. The spider’s greeting was cheerful enough. It had also stopped several steps from him, seemingly happy to keep a distance. Still unable to speak, Mr. Kitty closely watched the spider as it gently touched one of the threads connected to him. Amazingly, he was freed at once. With another touch, all the threads around Mr. Kitty neatly meshed into a silky carpet. A magic carpet floating in the air. He waited for the spider’s next trick. Maybe it’d bring out a tall hat and start juggling, or turn into a bird, or better yet, offer him a piece of cheese. But the spider did none of those. It only retreated even a little further, as if they were on a stage and Mr. Kitty was now the main act.
 
Having finally gained enough courage and control of his movement, Mr. Kitty looked around. Beyond him, to his astonishment, there were countless more webs. Like this one, they all appeared to be anchored to nothing at all. Some were high, some low, some simple, some intricate. Some looked shiny and inviting as if they were woven not but a few moments ago, others neglected and disdained. The webs were all empty. No other visitors had been caught and no other spiders could be seen. Thousands of motionless carpets in an eternal wait for riders.
 
For all the emptiness there was, Mr. Kitty could now hear echoes of voices. As though having crossed the great static and distance, the voices were faint and indistinct. And yet, Mr. Kitty knew they were calling to him. There was something passionately urgent in their call. The voices slowly enveloped him before seeping through his skin to burrow deep inside where they, like a tree taking root, tightly held onto him. A sense of calm washed over Mr. Kitty and he let the voices move him. Their mesmerizing sound, which now seemed to be coming from within, urged him towards the edge of the web and the void beyond. Here, untroubled and unhesitating, Mr. Kitty stepped off the carpet the spider had woven for him and into the darkness below.
 
Only it wasn’t the void and it wasn’t darkness. Instead, he fell into a body of water. But unlike the time at the pond, water did not seem to be bothering Mr. Kitty now. Something mysterious was beckoning him and he could not resist the immense curiosity it was stirring in him. His eyes pierced into the clear and immeasurable depth. He saw small lights from below. The lights pulsated and fluttered like jellyfish rising to the surface of the ocean on a moonlit night. He dove toward them. And soon he was swimming among their dazzling twist and twine. At the center of each was a little palace of light that burned brilliantly. Mr. Kitty looked at them with such desperation as if he knew their radiance was too beautiful, unearthly and not lasting. Like a bee among flowers, he skipped from one to another, drunk from their nectar, stopping just long enough to marvel at the fleeting wonder of each.
 
After a while, just as he’d feared, the lights began to leave him. They kept rising while he kept sinking. In their ascent, they began to gather speed. Soon, they travelled so fast that they were showering momentary traces of glow behind like flowers falling from a cherry blossom. Each petal that fell on him gave him a tiny chill. And suddenly Mr. Kitty realized how cold it was down here. He panicked. He tried to swim after the lights but his limbs were heavy. No matter what he did he only slipped further down. The burning palaces of light faded. They retreated from his view and everything grew dark. Even the voices within dissolved into a silence. Everything that Mr. Kitty ever was, the one by the puddle, the one in the tree, the one in the woods, the one in the tunnel, all sank with him.

Overcome with exhaustion, Mr. Kitty stopped struggling. He thought he might be stuck down here forever and was surprised how easily he accepted it, how easily he gave up. At least now he didn’t have to worry anymore. Not about the neighborhood bullies, not about being hungry, not about his family growing old, and certainly not about who he actually was. He only wished it weren’t so cold. Then, just when darkness became total, something from above reached down and pulled him back toward the surface. He started rising and rising, past the lights which quickly fell away, into the bright sunny day above once more. And suddenly Mr. Kitty was back on the web. He stood there in bewilderment. His fur was perfectly dry. He could neither feel nor spot a trace of water on his body. He wasn’t even sure whether he had actually fallen in the water or everything was simply his imagination. Yet, what he had experienced a few moments ago felt maddeningly real as he relived his fall over and over. The voices, the water, the lights, the sinking, and the rescue. Mr. Kitty was utterly lost. There was only one thing left to do. So he stepped forward again into the empty air. At that very moment, something in him snapped and the voices stopped. His legs started to tremble. Unsteadily, Mr. Kitty stepped back from the edge of the web and turned around to look at the spider. Its fine coat was glinting in the sun. Its eyes watched him without curiosity.
 

MR. KITTY (shakily): What is this place?

SPIDER: Ah, I can explain. But first, I want to assure you that you have no reasons to be scared.

MR. KITTY: No reasons? One minute I was in the woods, the next I was in a hole. And now I’m here on some kind of web. And what was happening down there in the water?

SPIDER: But this isn’t just some kind of web, is it? You’d be surprised to know how much a spider can say about the web who spins it. This one, for instance, is as delicate as a feather and as light as a lily…

MR. KITTY: Who are you?

SPIDER: Oh, where are my manners? You can call me Spider. And don’t be fooled by this cute and cuddly appearance. I’m actually a menace to little mice which I like to scare very much. Unfortunately though, there’s no more mice around here as you can see (the spider theatrically raises its two front legs in exaggerated despair), so I do a lot of napping instead. But you’ve already noticed that, I’m sure… Do you care to guess what happens when all the mice are gone?

MR. KITTY: I don’t understand any of this.

SPIDER: That’s quite all right. They’re not important, at least not yet. I’m talking about the mice, of course. Hmm, what else should I tell you about myself…? Ah yes, green is my favorite color. Though between you and me, I suspect I might be colorblind… Perhaps you can help me, which color is number six?

MR. KITTY: What…?

SPIDER: That’s not a trick question. But I digress! In any case, I’m not here to ask answers. Quite the opposite, I’m here to question. 

MR. KITTY: Something is not right. I need to sit down. I think the height is making me dizzy.

SPIDER: That’s a very reasonable idea! A lot has happened to you. What a day, eh? But everything will make sense very soon.


8. the conversation

(Mr. Kitty moves away from the edge of the web, somewhat clumsily. The spider reaches for a thread. It is about to turn the web into something even more comfortable than a carpet. A cushion perhaps, or fresh hay, or a cardboard box. Then it decides against it – that would only invite more questions. Having made up its mind, the spider stretches its legs then settles into a lazy pose. This strikes Mr. Kitty as oddly familiar and he begins to let himself relax)

SPIDER: How shall we begin? Ah, the first question you asked, of course. That would be a great place to start, don’t you think?

MR. KITTY: Yes, where am I?

SPIDER: Right here is where the great many universes intersect. The secret portal to countless of worlds that would not be accessible otherwise. Amazing, no? 

(The spider briefly pauses as if to give Mr. Kitty a moment to marvel at the wonder of it all). 

MR. KITTY: Huh?

SPIDER: It may help to think of this as a crossroads. Any ordinary crossroads…

MR. KITTY: Like the place that lets you go into different destinations?

SPIDER: That’s right! Here you have many destinations to choose from. Yes, I shall tell you what they are! But I want you to do something for me first. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the place you come from. Your home, your trees, your pond, and your family. Can you see them? Yes? That’s the easy part. Here’s the fun part. By the way, you can open your eyes now… There are many places just like that. They’re almost like the mirror images of your home, your trees, and your pond. But they aren’t yours. And each of these places also has a version your family, and believe it or not, along with a version of you in it.

MR. KITTY: What do you mean? It’s my home and not my home at the same time? What are these places?

SPIDER: They are different universes that exist in parallel to yours. Imagine looking at reflections in the water. Now there are two of everything, including yourself. Except these universes are not reflections. They are real and there are many more than just two.

MR. KITTY: So what you’re saying is that there’s more than just one me and we live in different places?

SPIDER: Precisely.

MR. KITTY: But how can that be? I have never even met anyone looking just like me. (Even his family doesn’t look like him, Mr. Kitty reflects ironically).

SPIDER: No, you haven’t. And that is because we have ourselves a few rules for these universes. The first is that they’re not supposed to meet. Someone from one universe is not meant to travel to another. Though I think you can see that there might be a caveat to this first rule.

MR. KITTY: Because the universes intersect?

SPIDER: Smart kitty! That is why indeed. 

MR. KITTY: I think what you’re saying is that I can visit other universes?

SPIDER: Oh yes, you can!

MR. KITTY: And what’s the second rule?

SPIDER: The second rule dictates that the worlds are similar in many ways but never identical.

MR. KITTY: Can you give me an example?

SPIDER: Actually, I believe you’ve already seen some of the examples on your journey here. (The reflection of the sun on the spider’s eyes briefly wavers. Perhaps a cloud has momentarily passed. Or perhaps it was a wink).

MR. KITTY: Did you mean in the tunnel I just came out of? (Mr. Kitty looks up but the tunnel opening is no longer there).

SPIDER: Yes, the tunnel. In there, you must have seen what you thought was mirrors. They were not so. They were windows that gave you glimpses into different worlds. The images you recognized were not of yourself but of different versions of you that belong in those worlds.

MR. KITTY: That is amazing! I was wondering what I was looking at! It all happened so quickly so I couldn’t really tell.

SPIDER: I can certainly help with that. (The spider purrs). But first, tell me what you saw.

MR. KITTY: You mean the windows?

SPIDER: Yes, what did the first window show you?

(Mr. Kitty takes a moment to recall. The spider doesn’t rush. It leisurely brings one of legs up to examine it with its fangs while waiting for Mr. Kitty)

MR. KITTY: I think I saw myself… or another version of me, by a puddle. It looked just like the puddle from the other night but everything was frozen over.

SPIDER: Ah yes, that’s the ice world. A world just like yours except it’s always winter in that world. A very cold and eternal winter.

MR. KITTY: That sounds unpleasant.

SPIDER: Well, it would be unless your heart is made of fire, which is the case in that world. It keeps you warm. Everyone is born with a fire in them and this fire grows colder with time till one day it’s no longer a fire. That’s when they truly become part of the ice world. But for some, the fire only gets hotter as they age. This makes them so restless that they spend their lives wandering and looking for the place they really belong. Yes, some of them end up here… Did you know there is also a desert world?

MR. KITTY: I don’t suppose you carry a fire in your heart in that world?

SPIDER: But of course you do. The nights are long and cold in the desert…

(The spider looks at Mr. Kitty but Mr. Kitty is already lost in his own recollection)

MR. KITTY: There was another window where I think I was stuck in a time loop. I was going for this fishbowl but I couldn’t seem to quite get there.

SPIDER: Oh, that must be Zeno’s world. A peculiar place. What’s so peculiar about it actually isn’t time which flows one way, just as it does in your universe. I was once told a story about two Zeno’s creatures who go to meet in a park. I don’t know why they should meet, only know that on that particular day the trees are brilliant in their fall colors and the old park benches are empty and inviting. The first creature gets there. It sits at one of the benches and waits. After a while, thinking the other has decided not to come, it leaves. The second creature arrives at the park just as the first starts walking the other way. So it runs after the first. But according to the rules of Zeno’s world, no matter how fast one runs toward another, one will have to first reach the point where the other started. Alas, when one gets there, the other will have moved a bit farther. One tries to catch up again but each time they do, the other has already walked that much farther away. So you see, the two creatures never meet. One, ahead, thinking the other never came. The other, behind, following a mirage…

MR. KITTY (thinks for a while): But a fishbowl doesn’t move. Shouldn’t I be able to get to it eventually?

SPIDER: You are quite right! Unless the fishbowl is just a mirage. One of the many mirages in Zeno’s world. Do you know what happens when you follow a mirage at sea?

MR. KITTY: I don’t know. I’ve only heard of the sea. I’ve never actually seen it.

SPIDER: That’s because you live on land, far from the seaboard. If you travel far enough, someday you’ll meet the sea.

MR. KITTY: I did see something when I got out of the woods earlier. Maybe that was it?! It took me days to get there. What is the sea like? 

SPIDER: The sea is many things. It is the cry of seagulls, it is the silvery flash of a fish breaking the surface, it is the water striking the shore, it is the salt in its taste, it is the silence below, it is the roars of waves so loud you will want to think of them as storms instead. And when you follow a mirage across the sea, you will have found out that you, Kitty, you are too.

MR. KITTY: Do you mean I am also many things or I am a mirage? I’m not following…

SPIDER: You’re not following a mirage or what I’m saying?

MR. KITTY: This is getting confusing again! Who are you really? And I meant to ask, how did you know my name?

SPIDER: I’m a friendly spider at a crossroads. I show travelers where they go. After all, as you’re beginning to see, there are many places you can visit from here. The time will come when you’ll have to choose. And as for your name, you look like a Kitty. There are many secrets across the universes but who we are isn’t one of them.

MR. KITTY: But that’s what I’ve been trying to find out! That’s how I came here in the first place. I want to know who I really am. I want to know why I look different from my family. A few days ago I came across this owl who told me to go into the woods. It said I’d find the answer there but so far things have got even more confusing. 

SPIDER: Just because you don’t know the answer to something it doesn’t mean it’s secret. 

MR. KITTY: So you know who I am then?

SPIDER: Apart from the fact that your name is Kitty? No, I actually don’t. But I can tell you many things about the different universes. Think of me as a road sign that can help you decide which way you want to go.  

MR. KITTY: I see. What about the universe where I go back into the past? Through one of the windows I saw my mother after I was bitten by a fox. She looked very young then. I just didn’t think it was that long ago.

SPIDER: You don’t go back into the past in that world. Everyone is young because they don’t age. They forever live in their youth. So in a way, time stands still to them.

MR. KITTY: That must be nice, not having to worry about getting old.

SPIDER: You may even say that’s actually a curse. It’s harder to make sense of what you have if you can’t perceive the passing of time. Where you come from, the evidence of time is all around you. You know it because you lose something for good every day. Whether it’s yesterday’s paw prints or someone you once knew. It may seem unpleasant that you should experience so much loss. But that’s how you know you had something.

MR. KITTY: It is actually awful if the only way to have something is to lose it. But I don’t suppose I would want to live in the other world either. What if you want to lose something you don’t like? You’d be forever stuck with it, no? (The spider does not answer. It passively looks at Mr. Kitty, like a road sign indeed). Anyway, no one seems to be happy with their worlds. Are there any places where this isn’t the case?

SPIDER: Oh yes, of course! 

MR. KITTY: Really?!? Where are these places and what are they like?

SPIDER: Ah, I can tell you where they are but I’m afraid I don’t really know much about what it’s like to be in those worlds. Only the most basic details. The truth is that those who inhabit them don’t ever come here.

MR. KITTY: Why not? 

SPIDER: I don’t suppose there would be too many reasons to leave when you’re truly happy. 

MR. KITTY: That makes sense. (Mr. Kitty thinks for a moment then looks directly at the spider). If I can, I’d like to visit one of those worlds. 

SPIDER: I suspected you might. Which one would you like to visit?

MR. KITTY: How about somewhere with a lot of sunshine, a lot of food… and no dogs please!

SPIDER: That’s easy then! I can send you to a world called Wild Cap. Funny name, I know. All you have to do is to eat a mushroom each day.

MR. KITTY: That doesn’t sound too bad… But wait, will my question be answered there?

SPIDER: I don’t think anyone cares about that sort of question in Wild Cap. I could also send you to Kyzeeus or Durton but I don’t think you’ll find your answer there either. Though there is another place you can go if that’s what you really want. I don’t know if that place will make you happy. Actually, it’s not even one of the parallel worlds.

MR. KITTY: Then what is it?

SPIDER: Far below this web is an island. On this island you will meet all the kitty’s who have traveled to find out who they are. There you will finally have your answer.

MR. KITTY: That’s the place I want to visit then!

SPIDER: Are you sure? I should say that you can only travel through here once. You’ll be able to return home afterwards but you won’t ever get to visit another world again. So choose wisely. I offered Kyzeeus and Durton because you’d have a lot of fun discovering worlds so similar yet so different from your own. For instance, in Kyzeeus… 

MR. KITTY: Thank you but I think I’ll just go to that one place for my answer. 

SPIDER: Very well then.



Last update: June 2024